34 years and counting

Yesterday (August 15) was our 34th wedding anniversary. 34 years ago two total strangers decided to get married on the spur of the moment. Perhaps it was the biggest gamble of our lives. In spite of high and low moments in our lives (as perhaps expected between two people), we have survived and managed to have a wonderful family. I had ordered some red roses through internet. My wife received that yesterday morning timely. She sent an email which was brief as usual, but I knew she was happy. I also talked to her yesterday morning. We also received happy anniversary wishes from our daughters. Today we skyped as planned. Four people currently live in four different places in two different continents. However, our hearts and minds instantly bridge all the distances. Soon, I will be home for two weeks.

Family Talk

After being together for more than two decades, our family is scattered all over. My wife is in Houston, Texas, I am in Luanda, Angola, one daughter in Chicago, Illinois with her husband and the younger daughter in Med School in Cleveland, Ohio. No, there is no problem – life and career have taken us in different directions. However, we are still a very close family. Technology keeps us connected. Every Sunday at 3:00 PM Angola time we skype and talk for a long time. The heart touching story of children with HIV raised by a poor mom whose mother is in hospice, the dilemma of accepting a job offer by the older daughter in light of pros & cons along with the consideration of starting a family, our family cat’s ill health due to aging, my wife’s lingering office issue with major equipment for her electric utility company, and my own lonesome life in an alien land make up for a long conversation. I eagerly wait for this weekly ritual.

As I read “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell, I am more convinced now than ever that success in life is not simply about analytical intelligence (IQ) inherited through our genes, but from practical IQ that we learn, mostly as an effort of our families. Chris Lagan with a fantastic IQ did not get the helping hand from his drunken step father, but Oppenheimer did. Chris Lagan, a brilliant mathematician is unknown to the world. We have no control over innate IQ passed on to our children through the genes from one generation to the next.

My Garo friend, Kilington Marak from elementary school was very bright, but had to drop out from school to make a living. My father did whatever he could for our education in spite of meager living. No, I do not have brilliant IQ, but we had been prepared indirectly to stand on our own relatively well. I hope we have been a family that provided some practical IQ needed for our children to succeed in their own way. I hope discussions like this weekly ritual and all the discussions, arguments, engaging in activities (science fair, history fair, piano, soccer, dance, etc.) of the past have helped our daughters some way, which many parents either can not afford or are unaware of the value.

In two weeks I head back home to meet rest of my family for two weeks.